How To Fix A Washed Ipod

This fix is all about speed, time and luck. The AppleCare warrenty and the store warrenty typically doesn't cover this type of accidental damage, so you can't turn to them. Here's what you do:
1) Don't mess with it! Pressing buttons will force more moisture into the Ipod.

2) Wipe the surface with a dry towel.

3) Put the Ipod in a bag of uncooked rice so to draw out more moisture.

4) Check a lunar calender to see when is the next full moon, now the next full moon put the Ipod, still in the bag outside, facing south. You'll want to leave it there until the next full moon. Obviously, put it somewhere out of the way.

5) Each night, at exactly midnight, light a candle and recite this prayer: "I envoke the Dark Arts that formed thee to mend thee." Say this until you feel a sudden shortness of breath and a chill runs down your spine. This is just the damaged Ipod stripping a tiny bit of your soul to go toward fixing it.

6) After the lunar month is over, contact an exorcist to excise any demons that might have found its way into the Ipod. (It's technical fixed now, but don't skip this step, less the Ipod starts to murder your loved ones.)

This is a little more tricky because the clergy tend to want to destroy posessed items rather than excise them. Pay a kid to pretend to be posessed and hide the Ipod under him. Find a skinny kid, because a heavier one might crack the screen. The light of God will purge any demons out and congradulations, you fixed your Ipod!